Talking to Strangers

One morning as you leave your building, you notice the mail carrier struggling with their heavy bag. You stop to hold the building door open for them. They smile and thank you, and you both agree that it looks like it’s shaping up to be another sunny day.

A few minutes later you are on the train platform paying your fare. For some reason, it’s just not working for you today. A college student sees you struggling and asks if you need help. After they explain what you should do, they add that they just recently moved to Kitchener, and have been struggling with how to use the LRT too. The train arrives. You wave goodbye to each other and rush onto the car.

After you get off the train, you start your final walk to work. On the way, you see the word’s cutest puppy and their human. You can’t help but stop to compliment and pet the puppy, who immediately rolls over to show you their belly. Its human laughs good-naturedly and explains that they can’t go anywhere without the puppy begging for attention.

How does this morning sound to you? Does it sound like just a normal day? Or a series of annoying, unnecessary moments of small talk? If you fall in the latter category, then it would probably surprise you to know spontaneous engagement with strangers is actually good for you in a few ways:

1) Practice

Social and communication skills are just that – skills – and you can lose them if you don’t use them. Remote work, busy lives, decreased social/family groups and lack of public spaces means that we have less and less opportunities to socialize. Small, low-risk interactions with a stranger gives you a chance to practice those skills. In particular, it gives you a chance to practice one of the least appreciated social skills: being comfortable with a little awkwardness!

2) Trust

Fewer opportunities to socialize means that humans are getting their social fix another way: online. For all the benefits of that, social media and news media are built to thrive on simple messages and shocking information. If your only experience with your fellow humans is through that filter, it can really begin to erode your trust in others and that in turn affects your health (Cheng, 2021.) In fact, generalized trust has been found to be a positive predictor of self-rated health and happiness and a negative predictor of illness (Chan, 2017.)

3) Socializing

In 2023 the World Health Organization declared loneliness a global public health concern (Commission on Social Connection, 2024.) Our social circles are shrinking, and we need relationships. We don’t just need relationships to find jobs, stay safe or develop skills. We need people in order to feel good and prevent illness (Martino, 2015.) Fulfilling, authentic relationships are the best. But, some research shows that even small interactions – called “weak ties” – can also predict greater life satisfaction (Ascigil, 2023.)

Now that you know the benefits, the next time you are at Kitchener Public Library embrace the opportunity to connect. Join one of our programs, pass somebody a book on a high shelf or offer to share a table with someone who is looking for a spot to sit. Use our "Willing to Share" signage to show others that they are welcome at your table. It might do you more good than you think!